He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
