Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
