Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i now understand why vodka
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
