redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It's blow job season.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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