Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
