Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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