Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
