I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
