6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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