Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
