I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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