She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
