It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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