I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
