dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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