oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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