it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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