I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Randomize
