Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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