Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
