i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
