I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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