dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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