Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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