somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
