But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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