she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
