i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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