The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
