idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
