I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
