return my video game
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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