Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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