Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
