Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
How external is "for external use only"?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
