nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
