listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
