Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
