PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
me + whiskey = a bad person
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
