NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I AM VODKA MAN
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
