I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
