you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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