just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
