what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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