so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
