who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
