Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
