I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
