all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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