Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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