wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
