Small penises have feelings too.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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