I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Let's get the cat blown out
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
